• Tana Daughtrey


“For better or worse she’s the voice in my head challenging me to do better.” Sandra Bullock, Two Weeks’ Notice.

While binge watching Hallmark movies I came across the one noted above. That line about Mothers really hit me. Mothers mean so much to us for good and bad they do the very best they can to love us and parent us. We love them, we hate them, and we blame them for a lot.

Not long ago I did a natal astrology chart for this gentleman who had contacted me about coaching. As part of the coaching he gave me his birth information so I could do his natal chart. It’s generally an interesting and informative exercise I like to do for Clients who are interested.

I was amazed when I saw his chart. He was born a different year than I, but we were almost identical in that we had the same or nearly the same planet locations except for the placement of Jupiter, the planet of luck. It has been fascinating getting to know him and see the similarities and the differences which I believe are, in part, the result of our mothers.

We have the same sun, moon and rising sign. In astrology those having a moon in Capricorn, which we both have, may have strong mothers. He adored his mother as I did mine, but his mom was not my mom. What a difference in a person’s life our mothers make. He never had children or married. He took care of his mother throughout her life.

I did not have children because I felt that I was too selfish and that I’d not be a good mother. Frankly I was afraid I would not be a good parent. I was afraid I would be like my mom.

I did not appreciate my mom when I was young. I was close to my mom being an only child, but I had a tough time liking my mom. My mom was brilliant and friendly generally, but very difficult at home. She was unpredictable. She was not always kind. I do not know if she intended to be harsh or if she simply did not know how to love me the way I felt I needed love.

We have to remember where our parents came from. My mom was raised in the East Teas oil fields during the depression. She attended the New London school which exploded with a gas leak with all the children in school killing over 300 children. It was a horrific scene that my mother witnessed as a child.

My mom never really felt loved. My mom did not have self-confidence. How could my mother give me self-confidence? You can’t give your child what you don’t have. You can’t teach self-worth if you don’t have the feeling you’re worthy. You can’t teach happiness if you’re not happy.

Stop blaming your mom for your unhappiness! Until 18 it was her job to be your parent. After 18 it’s your job to find your own happiness. If I can’t get my life together that’s on me. Are you over 18? Stop blaming your mom and find your own happiness.

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© 2018 by Tana Daughtrey.