ARE YOU LIMITLESS? DO YOU WANT TO BE?
Limitless … Thousands of writers over thousands of years have written about finding happiness, being at peace, reaching nirvana, being limitless. Everyone is searching for that. There is no easy answer. There is no pill. There’s no quick fix, but, instead, what if you tackle finding peace and happiness one belief at a time?
It’s impossible to be without beliefs, and beliefs alone do not destroy our peace. What if we define Limitless as being without unquestioned beliefs, then questioning these beliefs, these thoughts,
feelings, reactions are steps toward being Limitless?
Let’s talk about beliefs that we all have called cognitive distortions. These are ways that we fool ourselves into believing things are true when they are not. These are categories of cognitive distortions:
· Filtering – focusing on the negative facts or beliefs and filtering out all the positive so that one has a negative viewpoint of the situation,
· Jumping to Conclusions,
· Control Illusions - we see ourselves as a victim of fate,
· Fairness Illusions – we measure everything by this imaginary fairness ruler,
· Emotional Reasoning – I think it; therefore, it is true.
· Illogical Change Reasoning – I think if I can cajole someone they will change their mind to my thinking,
· Labeling – broad overgeneralization,
· Always being Right, and
· Heaven’s Reward Fallacy – if I suffer I will be rewarded.
Grohol, J. (2016 and 2018)
These are common ways we react to situations. How many times do I start to take apart and overanalyze a conversation I had with a guy I go out with? Suddenly it’s filtered so that I’m remembering the negative, not the positive. Then too I over generalize and jump to conclusions catastrophizing and by the time 2 minutes have gone by I’ve made a normal conversation into a story about how he’s going to break up with me. Whew! Where did I get all that!
So, does happiness lie in learning to question our thoughts? Can we learn to see that perhaps some of our thoughts and beliefs are cognitive distortions? If we learn to question what we are thinking or believing about a situation, can we learn to limit the amount of time we react with or to these cognitive distortions? In other words, rather than spin out of control and worry about my friend breaking up with me I laugh at my own thoughts and behaviors.
There are multiple ways to reduce the impact cognitive distortions make on your life. The first step is to identify the categories of cognitive distortions you may be harboring in your personality. To help you do this, take time to journal your feelings. Write free flow for 20 minutes a day if possible. Review what you wrote. Journaling may help identify cognitive distortions or limiting beliefs whichever category they may be.
How do you challenge your thoughts and beliefs? Some say just do it. Easier said than done. It’s hard work to change, and challenging your thoughts means that you will change. Coaching helps you change. Coaching helps you work in the present moment to accept who you are, current reality, and move forward to your goals with tools to handle situations. I believe coaching can help you move a step closer to Limitlessness. Do you want to be Limitless?
Ades, K. (2013) How to Tame a Wild Elephant. T+D 2013.
Grohol, J. (2016). Fixing Cognitive Distortions. Psych Central. Retrieved August 7, 2018, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-cognitive-distortions)
Grohol, J. (2018). 15 Common Cognitive Distortions. Psych Central. Retrieved on August 3, 2018, from http://psychcentral.com/lib/15-common-cognitive-distortions8i9