Updated: Mar 29, 2019
“Here’s the deal. The human soul doesn’t want to be advised or fixed or saved. It simply wants to be witnessed – to be seen, heard, and companioned exactly as it is.”
- Parker J. Palmer, “The Gift of Presence, the Perils of Advice”
Once long ago a friend told me that he realized that I might talk about a problem, but when I did I really didn’t want any advice. I wanted only for him to listen to me talk. Wise man, and a good friend. How many times a day do we tell friends and/or family our thoughts on what they should or could do about an issue when they have not asked for advice? How do you feel when someone gives unsolicited advice? Honestly, I hate being the recipient of unsolicited advice, but in my personal world I do it all the time.
What drew me to coaching is that coaching does NOT involve giving advice. The beauty of coaching is that it is based on the idea that all the answers in the world are just right there inside us. Although I constantly violate my own principal with close friends and family, I believe that we do have all the answers within ourselves. Our search for inner peace starts and ends with us.
Where a coach comes in is when you get stuck at a point and cannot find your own answers. Probably instead of life coaches or transition coaches we should often be called “get you unstuck” coaches. We don’t give any answers, but we have tools and work with you on tools to help get you unstuck.
Often, I practice solutions-based coaching. The first issue is to determine your goal, where you want to be in your life? Where do you want to be on one specific issue? Then, let’s visualize it. After you visualize it, then a coach helps you find your way to move forward with specific action steps.
The coach helps facilitate you finding your own answers. Once facilitated, the coach can help you with other issues, or you finish your time with them. As the process goes it is simple and generally much shorter than psychotherapy.
Right now, there are many competent and qualified coaches in the world. If you are stuck, it’s a good opportunity to work with someone who can help you get unstuck. Coaches often work through Zoom or some other live chat software. This makes it easy to choose your coach based on who you like not who is in the same town. If you feel as though you are stuck, work with someone to get unstuck. I wish you well, and I am here if I can help.