• Tana Daughtrey

Re-Do your attitude - Holiday Decorations

Updated: Apr 17, 2019

You've got to get up every morning With a smile in your face And show the world all the love in your heart Then people gonna treat you better You're gonna find, yes you will That you're beautiful, as you feel

Carole King


Everyone has a year or more than one where they feel no joy for the Holiday Season. Usually it occurs during years when we have had tough times. It may have been a year where you got laid off a job, lost a loved one, or were abandoned by the one you love. All those things make you sad and depressed at this time of year. I’ve had more than one of those years. For the last 3 years I have left every holiday decoration in the boxes in the closet. No Christmas occurred in this house. No Santa was set out inside my home. I was depressed, lonely, and felt all alone.


It is difficult, but it’s time to take an active step…put up a Christmas tree. It’s time to open the boxes and bring out all the Santas. It’s time to stop being stuck in the sadness and depression. It’s time to take an active step to feel and reciprocate the love, the kindness, the compassion that is an integral part of the meaning behind the holiday season.


As you probably know from earlier blogs, I became a Solo Single Female with no family at all three years ago. This was never my conscious choice, but it was and is my circumstance. I’ve felt damn bitter about the whole situation, and I have treated those close to me in a terrible fashion because I inflict my negative attitude and general bitchiness about the situation on them.


Do I decide to be a bitchy, frightened, woman who never puts up holiday decorations, or do I climb this entire mountain alone, break out the decorations and be ok being alone? Sigh, Damn. Boy, it’s hard for me. I was programmed to consider life appropriate when it was lived with someone who you loved and who loved you. It’s hard to break that programming from being a couple to being alone. Well, that’s a different story for another day. In this blog I’m dealing with the question… how do you live your life solo and release the negative feelings about being in that situation?


I understand and accept that I’m going to do this alone. I am going to live this life solo. Today rather than talk about practical and logical steps toward getting those Santas out of the box, I am going to address the most important matter facing those who are going through a life transition such as those I talked about above. Attitude.


During different times in our lives the question comes up about attitude. Usually it’s when we are having a tough time negotiating out of our life transition. In other words, when we are stuck. I’ve certainly been stuck in that type of transition these last 3 years. I am looking at a big one…I am transitioning to the final act of this life time. I want to have the attitude that makes me a happy woman, not a bitchy one.


It’s easy to become bitter and angry during life transitions. Life’s transitions mean change, fundamental change. That said, they don’t have to always mean depression and loss. They do always mean a lesson, a life lesson.


When looking at life lessons, first evaluate how we are interfacing with life. Are we passively or actively living our lives? I discussed the idea of passivity in the blog Suffering is Optional The two most important concepts are that a passive person believes life just happens to them and failure means stop and quit, don’t try again.


Those at life transitions often feel life is just happening to them and they are simply pawns in some overall plan. That is not so. Take Carole King’s idea… get up every morning and put a smile on your face. This is the start of learning that we are responsible for how we act, react and interact with others and the events of our lives. A passive person will bitch while an active person will look at the events from a more positive viewpoint.


Be active, change your life… redefine your attitude. For practical steps to keep a more positive spirit during the holidays, read my blog Joyless in the World The bottom line is put a smile on your face, open the box and get out the Santas as a step toward a new attitude.



I hope everyone enjoys their holidays. Be safe, and remember, it’s all in your attitude.

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© 2018 by Tana Daughtrey.